


Love, Lacquer and Phallic Fruits

by Zupsgirl1



Series: Victuuri Silliness [4]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Nail Salon, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Don’t copy to another site, Fashion Disaster Katsuki Yuuri, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Humor, M/M, Mentions of phallic fruits, Mutual Pining, Nail Polish, Neighbors, Oblivious Gay Disaster Victor Nikiforov, Pining Katsuki Yuuri, Pining Victor Nikiforov, Ridiculous attempts at confessing one's love, Zamboni Roulette 2019, eggplants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 03:14:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18307052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zupsgirl1/pseuds/Zupsgirl1
Summary: Victor Nikiforov, a successful proprietor of a nail salon and his own line of nail polishes, ILY, has been in love with his neighbor, the adorable and sexy Katsuki Yuuri, for years. Victor knows that with his own designer wardrobe, he can never compare to someone like Yuuri, whose stylish crocs and cutoff jeans always make Victor weak in the knees every time they meet. Yes, Yuuri is most definitely way out of Victor’s league.When Yuuri needs advice on how to ask out his secret crush, what can Victor do but be a good friend and offer his brilliant tips on seduction, despite wanting to win Yuuri’s heart for himself?A story of two oblivious disasters pining over each other, a plethora of nail polish and phallic-shaped produce.Written for the Zamboni Roulette 2019 crack gift exchange.





	Love, Lacquer and Phallic Fruits

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gabapple](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabapple/gifts).



> This ridiculous story is my gift for the amazing Gabapple as part of the Zamboni Roulette 2019 Crack Gift Exchange. Everyone involved helped in creating a large list of crack prompts, then used a generator to receive their chosen prompt to use in creating either art or a fic. The additional caveat was that we all had to submit something we hate, which then had to be used by our gifter. 
> 
> My prompt was "Victor's nail polish collection" and Gabapple's chosen item was 'eggplant'. 
> 
> This might be the most ridiculous thing I've ever written, but I love it and hope you enjoy it Gab!! Just maybe I can get you to like eggplants just a little more (probably not though). Happy April Fools Day!! :D

Yuuri pushes through the front door of the nail salon, looking around in a frenzy, hair sticking up in every direction, wearing a pair of neon green sweats (with one leg pushed up as if it’s 1993 again), and a blue t-shirt with the words ‘hot effing mess’ emblazoned in pink across the front.  

 

He looks like an absolute _dream_.

 

The sight of him makes Victor choke on the venti iced nonfat no whip unicorn frappuccino that he’s just taken a sip of, spraying multi-colored drops of deliciousness all over his work table. He quickly recovers and grabs a cloth to clean up the mess as he peeks in the mirror to make sure his lips are still painted perfectly purple with his Chanel lip gloss in shade #764 Confusion (Mila told him it was quite befitting since that was his constant state of being).

 

Flipping his long silver ponytail over his shoulder, he flashes his most dazzling smile and waves to his favorite neighbor — the adorable horticulturist that Victor has most certainly has had many dreams about coming to whisk him away to get married and have lots and lots of puppies with — and sing songs out a cheerful greeting.

 

“Good morning, Yuuuuuri!”

 

Yuuri’s eyes widen in surprise as if he doesn’t actually expect to see Victor there despite him being the prestigious proprietor of the salon. His head whips back and forth, looking around in a panic before his eyes settle back on Victor.

 

“W-where’s Chris?”  Yuuri squeaks out and _oh_ how his voice does things to Victor’s delicate sensibilities.

 

Victor keeps his smile in place, although he can’t help but feel disappointed that the apple of his eye isn’t there to finally declare his undying love to him, and instead is looking for the salon’s flirty, yet gifted, waxing esthetician. Chris can painlessly wax and vajazzle — or peen-nazzle(TM), Chris’ own registered trademark — you into any design of your choosing, slap you on your ass and send you on your way with a lollipop and a smile on your face, all within five minutes. He's very talented.

 

“Looking to get waxed today? Oooh, what design are you gonna get Yuuri!” Victor bounces in his chair and claps, hoping that maybe Yuuri will agree to give him a private showing later.

 

Yuuri sputters and waves his hands around in front of his face. “No, no, no. I-I just needed to talk to him… I need some advice.”

 

Advice? His beloved needs advice? Seeing the perfect opportunity to help his longtime crush — who’s lived across the hall from him for three years and somehow manages to make Victor want to lose his pants each and every day with his perfect balance of shy adorableness and tantalizing sex appeal (today is a perfect example of that) — Victor jumps at the chance.  

 

“Well, Chris had to run out and buy some more rhinestones… ever since that new club opened, he’s had quite a run on peen-nazzle(TM) appointments. But maybe I can help you instead? I’m known to give very good advice. I’m a manicurist after all!” Milla, Sara, and Georgi all make noises in agreement, nodding their perfectly coiffed heads.

 

Yuuri seems to hesitate, looking as if he’s ready to bolt back out the door, and no, that will not do at all. Victor smiles wider, flashing the grin that he reserves only for Yuuri, and waves him over, wiggling his long manicured nails — today’s color is “Alluring Aubergine”, a deep eggplant purple — beckoning him to come sit.

 

Yuuri looks a bit terrified, but hurries over anyway, tripping over the untied laces of his black and white checkered converse Chuck Taylor’s ( _the man really belongs on a runway with his flair for putting outfits togethe_ _r_ , Victor sighs dreamily to himself). He crashes forward into the table and Victor’s heart, flailing his hands out to catch himself just as Victor reaches out to help steady him. Their faces are only a few centimeters apart and the air is suddenly stolen from Victor’s lungs as he looks through the slightly askew blue framed glasses sitting on Yuuri’s nose into his gorgeous chocolate colored eye orbs.

 

Victor suddenly has an urge for some chocolate truffles, handmade from the chocolatier down the block. Maybe Yuuri will allow Victor to eat them off those six-pack abs he once caught a glimpse of when he popped over to Yuuri's apartment at two a.m. one Wednesday morning a few weeks back to borrow a cup of sugar so he could bake a fresh batch of snickerdoodles. Victor wasn’t attempting to see what a sleepy Yuuri wore to bed and possibly score an invitation into said bed _at all_ , how dare you think that, Victor is a gentleman thank you very much.

 

Yuuri quickly rights himself to Victor's dismay, sighing as he runs a hand through his thick black hair and making it stick up even more. He sits down heavily in the chair across from Victor, a look of desperation in his eyes, which immediately causes Victor’s stomach to do a flip in anticipation. He _knows_ that look on Yuuri too well, however, he continues to smile and holds out his hand. Yuuri automatically gives him his own and Victor starts in on filing his nails. Yuuri reaches down with his other hand to give Makkachin, Victor’s beloved poodle who is laying by Victor’s feet, a few scratches behind her ear before speaking.

 

“I-I need dating advice… well, more like trying to get a guy to date me advice.”

 

Victor’s heart sinks into his stomach. Obviously, Yuuri would eventually start dating someone. Victor’s honestly surprised that it’s taken this long; he’s not been aware of Yuuri ever dating anyone in all the time he’s known him, but the man can be pretty private about certain things. Of course, Victor always held onto the hope that maybe it was because Yuuri was interested in him and would one day finally realize how blatantly Victor has been flirting with him, ever since the day Yuuri captured Victor’s heart by literally crashing into him in the hallway of their apartment building. Victor remembers it like it was yesterday: Yuuri, wearing an orange smock and pocket protector, carrying a large box of vegetables, and Victor, who up until the moment he saw the gorgeous god of sex appeal, believed he was looking fabulous in new tie-dyed Versace leggings. As Yuuri rushed around the corner and smacked into Victor, both of them went flying, along with assorted leafy greens, carrots, zucchinis, and peppers, scattering around Yuuri on the ground, as if he was the center of a tasty salad. Victor took one look at him and knew right then and there what he wanted to eat for the remainder of his life; he was even inspired to create the first shade from his own nail polish brand, ILY, “Tossed Salad”, light green with an orange iridescent and red glitter overlay.

 

Swallowing hard and clearing his throat, Victor keeps his attention on Yuuri’s hands as he forces himself to carry on with the conversation. “Well, I can definitely help you out with that… not that someone as desirable as you should need much help getting someone to want to date you.”

 

“No you don’t under—” Yuuri fidgets a little in his seat. “I mean come on, I’m not _that_ special. I doubt this person would ever want to be with someone like myself, but I don’t know… sometimes I get the feeling that maybe they do like me, and I’d be mad at myself if I didn’t at least try and find out for sure.”

 

Victor clicks his tongue against his teeth. “Yuuri, my zolotse, you’re very special and I’m sure anyone would jump at the chance to go on a date with you,” he chides. “So tell me, how can I be of help exactly?”

 

“I’m not sure if I should just be straight with him and just ask him out, or whether I should first try letting him know I like him… you know, show him in some way so as to try gauging how he feels about me, you know? I-I’m pretty nervous about being rejected and making things awkward.”

 

Victor swings his head to flip his ponytail, unfortunately getting the end tangled in the hinge of his lamp and thus ruining all attempts at sexiness while he has to stop to free himself. If only he could be as effortlessly sexy as Yuuri is. Despite the rising heat on his cheeks, he flashes Yuuri a charming smile.

 

“Okay, first of all. Never, _ever_ , be straight. That would be a crime against all that is right and good in the world, Yuuri. Second, although I’m positive he’d be interested in you, the guy would crazy not to be, I do agree it wouldn’t hurt to make sure. It would at least help to make you feel more confident in asking him out, right?”

 

Yuuri nods in agreement. An idea begins to blossom in Victor’s brain, and he snaps his fingers as he thinks. “Actually, you know what Yuuri, that’s perfect! This is your opportunity to go all out, show him how romantic you are and seduce him!”

 

Yuuri’s eyes widen with surprise. “Seduce him? I can’t do that! I wouldn’t even know where to begin!”

 

Victor throws him a wink. “That’s what I’m here for solnyshko. I’m going to help you. I’ll coach you and tell you just what to do. He’ll be eating out of the palm of your beautifully manicured hands in no time, thanks to me!”

 

Victor’s brain is screaming at him that this is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea. He’s totally cray-cray offering to help the love of his life romance another man, that this will only end in heartbreak for him, but above all Victor truly wants Yuuri to be happy. If it’s in the arms of someone else, well Victor has a freezer full of his “Crying Over How Gorgeous Katsuki Yuuri Is" Ben & Jerry’s Cinnamon Buns ice cream stash, non-dairy of course. Cinnamon Buns because it reminds Victor of Yuuri’s gorgeous eyes and firm ass — alright, Victor needs to stop that train of thought for now and save it until later tonight when he can curl up and shove his mouth full of creamy goodness.

 

“O-okaayy. If you insist, then yeah… let’s do it. Thanks, Victor.” Yuuri’s cheeks flush a lovely pink, closely matching “Beguiling Blush”, one of Victor’s favorite shades from ILY. In fact, that shade, along with all the others in the collection, were all created and named in honor of all the things that remind Victor of Yuuri. The man just hasn’t seemed to realize it yet though, despite Victor having been painting his nails for the better part of a year since the brand launched.

 

“So what should I do first?”

 

Victor finishes buffing Yuuri’s nails to a gorgeous shine — the man really needs to stop nibbling at his cuticles and put that mouth to better use — and picks up a bottle of nail polish, “Blue Askew”, and holds it out for Yuuri to inspect. “First, we’ll start with the nails! Then we’ll begin on the plan to woo your way into the man’s heart!”

 

* * *

 

“ _Serenade him_?” Yuuri asks, with a look of abject horror across his face. “Y-you can’t be serious!”

 

“Of course I am Yuuri. I mean, it works in the movies, so why wouldn’t it work in this instance?” Victor shrugs as he watches Georgi give Yuuri a pedicure, sitting in the next chair and trying not to get too flustered over the fact that Yuuri’s very sexy feet are right there. He had to ask Georgi to handle the pedicure because Victor knew if he got too close he either would have a) combusted on the spot or b) done something to make the situation awkward, like suck on Yuuri’s big toe. Alas, he has to settle for sitting this one out.

 

“I thought you were going to offer me real solutions, you know, like tell me to ‘bend and snap’ in front of him or something.” Yuuri huffs and crosses his arms as he slouches back in the Back-Beater 3000 massaging chair. Victor just had them installed last Thursday.

 

“Only if you bend with that ass pointed in my direction,” Victor mumbles to himself, pressing a button to adjust the massaging fingers to start kneading Yuuri’s gluts — the divine gift which was bestowed upon this Earth from the deities will not be ignored on Victor’s watch.

 

“Wait, what?”

 

“What?” Victor smiles innocently. “Nevermind.” He then hops up from the chair, waving his hand dismissively. “But fine, if you think it's such a terrible idea and you really don’t want my help, you can just wait for Chris to return I suppose.”

 

“No, no! Victor, wait!”

 

Victor looks over his shoulder and raises an eyebrow expectedly.

 

Yuuri sighs heavily. “Look, I’m sorry. I told you I suck at this sort of thing. So please… elaborate? Do you mean I should stand outside his window in the middle of the night holding up a boombox?”

 

Victor grins widely and bounces back over. “No, no. Seriously Yuuri, where would one even get a large boombox nowadays? And a portable Bluetooth speaker just wouldn’t have the same effect. I mean you should _really_ serenade him, as in singing or playing an instrument. Here’s what you need to do…”

 

Victor explains his idea to Yuuri as the man listens attentively, and if while doing so he occasionally peeks down to watch the water drip off Yuuri’s feet, doing his best to hold back the moans as Georgi then paints the toenails a soft teal, “Dreaming of Yuu” (Yuuri didn’t ask to see the bottle, so he’s none the wiser on that one), well he’s only making sure that his employee is doing a good job of course, nothing more.

 

* * *

 

Two days later, Yuuri comes back to the salon, this time walking in calmly instead of barreling through the door in his usual cannonball manner. He’s dressed to the nines — a tight black t-shirt, rainbow suspenders holding up harem pants with a purple eggplant print. Instead of his usual messy mop of hair, it’s slicked back and it’s a damn good thing that Victor is sitting down or else his legs would’ve given out beneath him. He probably needs to get a fainting couch in here.

 

Chris is leaning against the doorway to the waxing room and lets out a low whistle as Yuuri walks past him. “Looking good there, mon chérie.”

 

Yuuri ignores the comment and practically stalks right over to Victor, whose last customer just left or else he knows he would've totally messed up their manicure (“Booty-tiful Buns” — a sparkly, shimmering peach). Yuuri stops right in front of Victor's work table and levels him a stare so intense Victor is sure that his bikini briefs are now somewhere down the block, then pulls something from his pocket and brings it up to his lips.

 

Victor quickly realizes it's a kazoo as Yuuri starts blowing into it, playing what sounds like a buzzy version of “You're the one that I want” from Grease. Victor's eyes widen in surprise and he chokes on his own saliva as Yuuri suddenly kicks it up a notch by doing his best impression of Michael Flatley, syncopating as if he's the _Lord of the Dance_. And by gods, he is… the man has _Feet of Flames_ and is about to set Victor on fire.

 

Victor can't do anything but stare, jaw on the floor as Yuuri performs his routine. He feels everyone’s eyes on them, most likely looks of confusion and shock on their faces. How is Victor supposed to even respond to this? It's all just becoming too much for him to handle, however, his body apparently has no questions regarding the appropriate reaction since he’s burning up as if he’s got a fever. Maybe he does — a strong case of Yuuri-itis — and by god, he hopes there’s no cure.

 

Almost as quickly as it began, Yuuri's song comes to an end with him kicking out and resting on one heel of his maroon Doc Martens and raising an outstretched hand in a flourish. Breathing hard, chest heaving, and a look of hopefulness in his eyes, he pants out, “S-so… what do you th-think?”

 

What does he _think_? What he just witnessed is beyond words, nothing in any of the three languages he speaks could do it justice. Victor’s heart is doing somersaults inside his chest and he just gapes at Yuuri, trying to form some semblance of a coherent sentence. Somehow Victor finally manages a way to croak out a response despite the lump forming in his throat. “That was… _incredible_ Yuuri. Wow, a-amazing.”

 

Yuuri beams at him, his face lit up brilliantly and Victor is just so so gay. “Really? You actually liked it?”

 

Victor _loved_ it. But he knows that whoever Yuuri is going to actually gift it too will love it as well. This was only a practice run, Victor knows, even if for one silly moment he had hoped that he was the one Yuuri was trying to seduce. The air around them is suddenly too stifling, too thick and Victor needs to get away. He pushes back from the table abruptly, averting his eyes from Yuuri's sweet, smiling face

 

“Yeah, I… I loved it, Yuuri. You don't need to change a thing. Just… just go with that and he'll be sure to love it.” Victor mumbles he makes his way across the salon floor. “Now if you excuse me, I gotta go do a… yeah, I got a thing.”

 

Victor rushes towards the back, aware of the stares but not able to bring himself to care. Chris gives him a concerned look as he hurries past but Victor doesn't give him a chance to ask what’s wrong, running into the break room and closing the door behind him. He slumps against it and slides down to the floor, allowing the tears to finally break free now that he’s alone and sobs into his hands.

 

Whoever Yuuri is in love with is such a lucky, lucky sonofabitch.

 

* * *

 

The next evening Victor is unlocking the door to his apartment when Yuuri walks out of his own across the hall. Yuuri squeaks in surprise and starts to turn back into the apartment, which is confusing, to say the least, so Victor quickly calls out to stop him.

 

“Hi, Yuuri! How did it go?” Victor pastes on a small smile, trying to look interested for Yuuri’s sake. No matter what, he still wants Yuuri close to him, even if he dates someone that is _not_ Victor. He'd still rather Yuuri be in his life as a friend than as nothing at all.

 

Yuuri slowly turns back, a puzzled look on his face. “Huh? How did what go?”

 

“The plan? The romantic serenading? Did you get your date yet?”

 

Yuuri narrows his eyes and gives him a long hard look, as if he’s trying to puzzle something out, then shakes his head. “Nooo… not yet. He said he loved it but… but he ran away before I had a chance to get to the asking him out part.”  

 

Victor feels seething anger start to bubble up inside. Who the hell could ever run away from beautiful Yuuri after an incredibly stunning performance such as that? They must be certifiably insane. Just how—

 

“Not sure if I should just give up or give it another shot?” Yuuri says, bringing Victor out from his rage spiral. “I suppose I could do what I initially intended and just tell him how I feel... get the inevitable rejection out of the way.”

 

Yuuri shrugs and looks down, kicking the toe of his white and watermelon print croc against the ground. Seriously if horticulture ever stops working for Yuuri, Tan from Queer Eye needs to hire this man as an assistant. Simply impeccable taste — Victor feels like a hobo in his jeggings, form-fitting pink crop top, and simple black Louboutins. At least his nails are filed to a long, pointy perfection and painted in ILY shade “Shy Boy”, a gorgeous soft amber-honey brown swirl, so he knows he doesn’t look like a complete trainwreck.

 

Victor taps a nail against his lips and thinks for a moment. “I don’t think you should give up Yuuri. But there’s no harm in putting a little panache into how you ask him out. Make it really special, such as sending him something that he’d enjoy and then go in for the kill?” Victor suggests.

 

He makes to nonchalantly lean back against his door frame but misjudges how far away he is and loses balance on his four-inch heels, crashing his head and shoulder against the door, tumbling to the ground in a graceless heap. Victor barely registers Yuuri’s gasp but next thing he knows, little watermelons are swirling around his vision as they run towards him before he’s suddenly being lifted up by warm, strong arms. He becomes acutely aware that he is now being held steady against Yuuri’s firm chest, feeling his breath against his ear, and yeah, Victor is definitely going to pass out but not from hitting his head.

 

Once he’s steady on his feet, Yuuri attempts to pull his arms away but Victor quickly latches on and holds them tight against him, reveling in the Yuuri’s sharp inhale of breath.

 

“A-are you ok, Victor?” Yuuri’s tone is one of complete seriousness and concern.

 

“I think I’m still a bit dizzy… so if you could just hold me for a moment.” Victor feels Yuuri nod, his fluffy hair tickling the back of Victor’s neck. “Maybe you could… you know, help me inside and over to the couch?”

 

“Sure. Yes, of course.” Yuuri moves to the side, still keeping an arm around Victor and moves them towards the door. “Here, give me your keys and I’ll unlock it.”  

 

Victor reaches into his Birkin Bag and fishes his keyring out, handing it to Yuuri and lightly brushing his fingers up along his wrist as he pulls away. Yuuri looks down at his hand then back up at Victor inquisitively.

 

“Um… which one is it?”

 

“Huh?” Victor glances down and realizes the issue; he has somehow amassed upwards of at least fifteen keys which, paired with his collection of fuzzy faux-fur ball keychains, is the main reason he needs to carry around a purse in the first place, and the obvious source of Yuuri’s confusion.

 

He smiles sheepishly and points to one adorned with a cover shaped like a poodle head, “that one right there.”

 

Yuuri unlocks the door and guides them inside and over to the couch, dropping the keys on the coffee table with a loud thud as they pass. Makkachin looks up from where she’s snoozing upside down on the armchair but makes no move to get up. She’s obviously very concerned about Victor’s well-being. Yuuri tries to help Victor down, but he refuses to loosen his death grip on Yuuri, causing them both to fall unceremoniously onto the couch, Victor landing partially in Yuuri’s lap, which let’s be honest, is the best place for him to be at any point in time.

 

“Oof! Victor, you’re sitting on me.”

 

Victor turns and nuzzles his face against Yuuri’s neck. “Thank you so much, Yuuri! You’re my hero!”

 

Yuuri stiffens, seeming frozen in place for a moment, but then pats Victor on the back a couple of times. “N-no problem at all. I’m just hoping you’re not too hurt.” Unfortunately, he slides himself out from under Victor and stands, looking at him in concern, cheeks flushed red. Victor hopes the blush is from their previous position and not from the exertion of moving Victor — he’s not _that_ heavy, seriously how rude.

 

Victor pouts up at Yuuri, the urge to pull him back down into his arms is strong, but the way he’s looking back down at Victor, so caring and sweet, just steals his breath away.

 

“Are you sure you’re alright? Do you need to me do anything else, maybe get you some ice or painkillers? Do you have a bump?” And _holy hell_ , Yuuri reaches down and gently caresses Victor’s head, thereby sending his soul to another plane of existence.  

 

“I don’t feel any lumps… does it feel sore?” Victor can only stare starstruck and shake his head. He attempts to lean into Yuuri’s touch a moment too late, however, as Yuuri pulls his hand away right then. Victor slumps back against the couch cushions in defeat.

 

“Ok then. Well, I’m sorry to rush off, but I have to get going. I need to check on how my cucumbers are faring. For some reason they seem to be growing more in girth than length as I’d prefer them to be.” With that comment just hanging there for Victor to digest, Yuuri heads for the door, but stops halfway through and turns back with a sweet smile on his face.

 

“Oh Victor, what’s your favorite food?”

 

Victor tilts his head, carefully considering the question. He then smiles wickedly and he sits up straighter, hungrily looking Yuuri up and down. “Honestly, I love all types of food Yuuri, but I’m always in the mood to eat Japanese.”

 

Yuuri nods his head, a thoughtful look on his face. “Japanese… ok, I can work with that.” He mutters almost inaudibly to himself. “Well, feel better and I’ll see you later.” He throws a half-hearted wave over his shoulder as he walks out the door, and Victor can just get a quick glimpse of his delicious peach-shaped bum before it closes behind him.

 

* * *

 

Around noon the next day, Victor and the staff are all taking a break since there is a lull in customers. Sara is painting Mila’s nails, “Archer goin’ come my way?”, a bright saffron gold befitting of how a certain Sagittarius has captured this Capricorn’s heart. Chris is in the waxing room, giving Georgi some new special treatment he just invented and needed to try out. Apparently, it’s not a painless procedure, because Victor could clearly hear Georgi’s moans all the way across the salon that he had to ask Alexa to play “Baby Got Back” at top volume.

 

Victor notes that the song should be Yuuri’s anthem, quite honestly.

 

The front door opens and a man walks in holding a large white cardboard box, glancing around questioningly. Victor gets up and walks over, giving him a professional, yet kind smile.

 

“Good afternoon, welcome to VickyNik’s Salon. Can I help you?”

 

“Are you…” The man looks at a piece of paper on top of the box. “Victor Nikiforov?”

 

“Oh yes, that’s me! This must be the new supply of gel powder I ordered.”

 

The man shakes his head as he places the box into Victor’s outstretched arms. “No, this your sushi order.”

 

Victor looks at him confused. “But I didn’t order any sushi.” He turns to Milla and Sara. “Did any of you order this?” They both shake their heads in unison, so Victor turns back to the man and shrugs, who then reads off from a piece of paper.

 

“Oh, it says here that someone ordered for you… from a special friend. I guess it’s a gift.”

 

Victor perks up at that, happily surprised someone was sending him lunch as a gift. How sweet and thoughtful. Must be an appreciative customer. After the delivery man leaves — no tip necessary since the mystery person pre-paid that as well — he brings the box into the staff break room and places it on the table. Chris and Georgi finally make an appearance, Georgi looking quite flushed, so Victor makes a mental note not to get _that_ particular waxing special.

 

The box is filled with an amazing assortment of sushi, almost looking too incredible to eat and sweetly arranged into a heart — how cute! Victor excitedly pops a spicy tuna roll into his mouth, savoring the flavors on his tongue. It’s just the right amount of spice, the fish fresh and flavorful. The group eats happily for a few moments, enjoying their gift. Victor hopes that they eventually find out who ordered this lovely lunch for them, so as to thank them properly; they definitely deserve a gift certificate.

 

The door chime sounds and Victor hears Makkachin boof and scamper across the floor, an indication that she knows who just entered the salon since she is very well behaved will not run up to just anyone. He rises from his seat, waving off the others, allowing them to stay and finish their meals, and heads out front.

 

Yuuri is standing there in his usual work attire — sleeveless Day-Glo orange scrubs and crocs, light blue with pink flamingos this time — petting Makkachin while glancing around the salon. A warm rush of affection immediately fills Victor and he rushes over while still trying to look graceful as he smoothes down his black and white colorblock sheath dress, paired with white shimmery leggings and black leather ankle boots, hoping that he looks presentable enough in front of such beauty.

 

“Yuuri! It’s so nice to see you today. Are you on a lunch break? You can come join us if you like, we just received an amazing order of sushi that someone was kind enough to send it to us as a gift!”

 

Yuuri ducks his head, but not before Victor can see a small smile quirking up and a blush starting to fill his cheeks. Simply adorable. Victor has the urge to just reach out and squish those cute, full cheeks, which are in such contrast to Yuuri’s tight, fit body. And if he needs to then pull that face closer to him and kiss Yuuri’s full lips, then well no one ever said Victor wasn’t a weak man, especially for one Katsuki Yuuri.

 

Yuuri glances back up through his eyelashes but immediately freezes, eyes widening in shock. Victor’s stomach does a flip in fear — did his hair get messed up? Is his lip gloss smeared? Oh gods, does he have sushi remnants on his face?! Instinctively his hands fly up and he tries to casually brush off his mouth… which suddenly feels a little tingly and… fuller than usual? He doesn’t remember putting on lip plumper gloss this morning.

 

Yuuri looks like he’s on the edge of panic. “V-Victor? Uh… your face seems to be really blotchy… and your lips look a lot fuller than usual. A-are you alright?”

 

“What?” Victor runs to Sara’s work table since it’s the closest and grabs her small makeup mirror to look at his face. To his horror, his face is indeed covered in pink splotches and his lips are so swollen they would put Angelina Jolie’s to shame. Victor shrieks and drops the mirror, covering his face with his hands he drops to the ground in a crouch.

 

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!” Victor feels Yuuri’s presence at his side and gentle hands on his shoulders. “No, Yuuri! Don’t look at me like this! I’m _hideous_!”

 

“Victor, stop that. Even at your worst, you could never look hideous, you'd still be beautiful. But this is serious, it looks as if you’re having an allergic reaction! Do you have an EpiPen?” Yuuri’s voice is gentle but firm, although Victor thinks he can detect a hint of a wobble.

 

Realizing that Yuuri is indeed actually worried gives him pause from his freak-out over how he looks to actually think about what’s happening. He lowers his hands and hears a chorus of gasps. Looking up he sees his employees have all come out of the break room, curious as to what all the commotion was.

 

Yuuri stands and impatiently tugs Victor along with him. “Come on, you need to get to the hospital. I’ll take you.”

 

Victor momentarily rejoices in Yuuri being his savior and that he’ll gladly let Yuuri take him anywhere, but then guilt washes over him.

 

“Yuuri, you have work. I can’t let you waste time taking me. I’ll be fine… although my throat does feel really scratchy. Oh, but no bother, I’ll just go myself or one of the others take me, no biggie.”

 

He gets a round of head shakes, Mila speaking up first. “Well, actually we all have appointments within the next half hour.” Wow, Victor was getting a lot of sympathy from everyone this week. First his dog, now his friends. It might be time to reevaluate who gets one of his homemade fruit cakes during the holidays this year.

 

Yuuri pulls Victor towards the door, a determined look on his face. “Nonsense. I’m taking you. My car is just outside, let's go.”

 

Ten minutes later they’re in the emergency department, quickly being checked in as Victor’s lips seem to have expanded in size even more and his throat is beginning to feel like he swallowed a cactus. The staff obviously realized the severity of the situation as Victor must look like a complete disaster — a couple of kids in the waiting room took one look at him and burst into tears and hid against their horrified parents —  as they’re ushered into a small room right away. The nurses insist on Yuuri following along to ‘stay with your husband’ despite his sputtering that he should remain in the waiting room. Victor would’ve squealed in delight over their mistake, but you know, an allergic reaction is making it hard to do much of anything at the moment.

 

Victor waits on the tiny hospital bed and Yuuri takes the small chair next to him. He really didn’t have any other option since Victor has a death-grip on the poor guy’s hand. Yuuri really does his best trying to soothe Victor, telling him it will be alright and trying to calm his fears. After only waiting a few minutes a nurse hurries in, carrying a large, scary looking syringe.

 

“Ok Mr. Nikiforov, can you please turn over and pull down your pants?”

 

Victor looks at her with wide eyes, feeling the blood drain from his face. “E-excuse me? What was that?”

 

“I have to give you a high dose of diphenhydramine, an antihistamine. It has to be administered as an injection in your gluteal region.”

 

“My what now?” Victor looks at Yuuri, who is staring back and forth between Victor and the nurse with terror-filled eyes.

 

“Your buttocks, Mr. Nikiforov.” The nurse sighs. “I’m sorry but I really need to give this to you quickly, before your reaction can become even worse than it already is.”

 

Victor suddenly feels lightheaded and tries reaching out to grab onto Yuuri, practically falling halfway off the bed, his body filling with terror at the thought of that needle being stuck in his sensitive backside.

 

“Oh my _god_ , Yuuri hold me!”

 

However, Yuuri suddenly jumps up, knocking over the chair, scrambling out of reach and making his way towards the curtain surrounding them.

 

“Ah… yeah, I think I should probably wait outside!” he squeaks.

 

Fear gripes Victor immediately and he whines out in protest, “No Yuuri! Please don’t leave me! I-I need you here to hold my hand.” He drops his voice, almost whimpering. “Please stay with me, Yuuri. I don’t like needles.”

 

Yuuri pauses and looks back at Victor, his expression immediately softening the moment their eyes meet. He sighs and his shoulders droop as he gives in, setting the chair upright and sitting down again. Yuuri then takes Victor’s hand and squeezes it gently. “Alright, I promise I’ll stay right beside you.”

 

The next couple minutes pass by in a blur as Victor focuses on Yuuri’s warm hands, one holding his own and the other caressing Victor’s ponytail, trying to keep him distracted. Yuuri keeps his eyes kept locked on Victor’s, which he thinks is a shame since now is the perfect opportunity for him to show off his ass, but having a needle poking it really isn’t the sexiest of situations he supposes. It’s over quickly, although not without some discomfort, but the next thing Victor knows, he’s readjusting himself and trying not to coo at Yuuri’s adorable blush as the nurse leaves. Before Victor has a chance to even say anything to Yuuri, however, the doctor enters the room.

 

The doctor begins talking as she flips through a medical chart. “So Mr. Nikiforov. That injection we just gave you should work pretty quickly so you should start feeling better in no time. It was definitely a good thing you came in right away. Looking at your medical history, I see you have an allergy to chili peppers, but nothing else is noted. Did you remember having anything that might have contained them?”    

 

Victor shakes his head, trying to think of what he had before the reaction. He usually is good about staying away from chili peppers, always asks for them to be left out if a dish calls for them.   

 

“No that’s the only thing I know I’m allergic to and I’m good about abstaining. Hmm… the only thing I had right before the reaction was some sushi. It was delivered to my salon as a gift from a customer, and I ate a few pieces. I’m not aware of being allergic to any sort of fish.”

 

The doctor looks up from the chart then, tilting her head in thought. “Was any of it spicy? I know a lot of sushi restaurants will use Siracha Sauce, which is made from chili peppers.”

 

Victor snaps his fingers, a true eureka moment hitting him. “Yes! I actually did have some spicy tuna rolls, so that must be it! I didn’t even think about that before eating them.”

 

He hears Yuuri gasp next to him and looks to see that he’s got another wide-eyed, horrified look on his face.

 

“Yuuri? You ok?”

 

Yuuri seems to snap himself out, nodding but sadness fills his eyes. “Ah yeah. I’ll tell you later.”

 

Victor frowns but decides to let it go for now. He just wants to get out of this place as quickly as possible.

 

He’s discharged once his reaction begins to subside and it’s deemed safe for him to leave. Yuuri is oddly quiet on the drive back and Victor begins to worry that the whole ordeal has traumatized him. He feels as if he should be offended since Yuuri did have a chance to sneak a peek at Victor’s ass, which he works very hard to keep in shape, so if he didn’t look that’s really on him. As they arrive back at the apartment building, Yuuri finally speaks up.

 

“I-I’m so sorry, Victor. I didn’t think… I had no idea you were allergic—”

 

Victor gives him a questioning look. “Of course you wouldn’t know, Yuuri. I never told you about it, silly. Why would you be sorry? You’re the one who saved me!” Without thinking, Victor throws himself across the car and pulls Yuuri into a hug. The man squeaks and scrambles at Victor’s back, pulling him off and giving him a serious look.

 

“No, what I mean is… it was me! I’m the one who sent you sushi, so it was all my fault!”

 

Victor blinks, stunned by the admission. Yuuri ordered the sushi? He’s the ‘friend’, the customer that gave them a gift of delicious lunch? Victor lunges forward again and hugs Yuuri tightly, not allowing him to push him away this time.

 

“Yuuuu-riii! That was so sweet of you! I can’t believe you did that for us, how kind!”

 

Yuuri shakes his head and sputters, “But Victor, I made you blow up like that! That was a serious reaction and I was so scared for you!”

 

Victor finally releases his grip but keeps his hands on Yuuri’s upper arms, rubbing them soothingly. “But you did that as a kind gesture. As I said, you had no way of knowing about my allergy, so it’s not like you were intentionally trying to kill me, so no big deal.” Yuuri’s eyes become as wide as saucers. “Seriously, I really appreciate it, and for you taking care of me… again.” Victor ducks his head and gives Yuuri a sheepish smile.  

 

Yuuri sighs and shakes his head. “You’re too nice to me. I’m just glad you’re alright.”

 

They exit the car, heading towards the parking garage stairs. The first step up in his heels makes Victor wince in pain, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Yuuri who automatically reaches out to help him.

 

“Does it still hurt that bad?” He asks.

 

Victor nods his head side to side. “Yeah, it’s a little sore.” He then shoots Yuuri a smirk. “Definitely not what I prefer to have poking my ass, I can tell you that.”

 

Yuuri stumbles on the next step and Victor’s laughter rings out through the stairwell.

  

* * *

 

Victor doesn’t see Yuuri again for a few days, which was causing him to go into Yuuri withdrawal and making him think that he was avoiding him for some reason. He was worried that Yuuri had finally confessed and asked out his crush, the two then having run off together, and were now living in glorious bliss with ten puppies. He kept trying to reason with himself, that Yuuri and he were still friends and he wouldn’t forget about him and leave just like that, not without saying goodbye first and allowing Victor to sob and clutch at his legs, begging him to stay. However, once there the thought just wouldn’t leave, taking residence in the back of his mind.

 

Luckily, before Victor can fall too far down into a spiral of panic, Yuuri finally makes an appearance, one sunny afternoon three days after the sushi incident. Victor just so happens to lift his head at just the right moment to see Yuuri walking past the window, looking solemnly down at the ground. Victor might not have even recognized him if it wasn't for his bright blue and white striped tank top and green snapback with the picture of a lemon sitting sideways on his head.

 

Luckily Victor isn’t with a customer right then so he immediately jumps up and runs to the door. Unfortunately though, in his excitement, he flings the door open a bit too forcefully just as Yuuri is walking past, smacking the poor man with it and sending him sprawling out on the ground.

 

“Oh no! Yuuri, I’m so sorry! I’m such a klutz!” Victor helps him up and begins dusting off the man’s cutoff jean shorts, which are blessedly very short.

 

“It’s ok, Victor. Really, I’m fine.” Yuuri twists out of Victor’s hands, his face a beautiful bright red.

 

Victor stands back and seeing that Yuuri is indeed alright, crosses his arms and levels him a glare, an exaggerated pout on his lips. “I haven’t seen you in days Yuuri, I was beginning to think you vanished… or worse were ignoring me for some reason. Were you just going to walk past now without even saying hello?”

 

Yuuri averts his eyes and rubs the back of his neck, looking chastened. “I-I guess I just feel bad about the other day still. And I also needed some time to myself to think… I decided I’m going to give up on trying to ask you— my crush out. I think the universe is trying to tell me it’s just not meant to be.”

 

Victor gasps and clutches his hands to his chest. “No, Yuuri! You shouldn’t give up! You’re just being too hard on yourself!” Although Victor knows he shouldn’t encourage him, that this could be his chance to swoop in and steal Yuuri’s affections away, he knows the guilt will eat at him. Yuuri should be with the person he loves. He deserves all the happiness, even if Victor wishes that he was the one to give it Yuuri, not whoever this other guy was. Victor doesn’t know who it is, but he _hates_ him.

 

Yuuri sighs dejectedly and shakes his head. “I don’t know..”

 

Victor flips his hair and puts a hand on his hips. “Look Yuuri, I think you should give it just one more shot. Maybe your initial thought was right and you should just ask him out. But it would still be nice to make a romantic gesture… hmmm, such as a nice bouquet. Nothing says ‘I love you’ better than an over-the-top beautiful bouquet of something that really symbolizes how you feel.”

 

Yuuri bites his lip and seems to ponder it for a moment. “I guess that would be nice. What would you think would be best… something that symbolizes how I feel, huh?”

 

“You’re the horticulturist, Yuuri. Why don’t you just go with whatever you have in your greenhouse? Actually, that would be perfect! It would be even more meaningful then because it comes directly from you!”

 

A smile finally spreads across Yuuri’s face and excitement lights up his eyes. “Yeah, I think that’s actually a really great idea Victor, thanks!” Yuuri suddenly lunges forward and gives Victor a tight hug, startling him. Before Victor can reciprocate, however, Yuuri is already loosening his grip and begins to hurry away.

 

“I’m going to go see what I can put together right now! This… this might actually work! I’ll be back!” With that, Yuuri runs down the block leaving Victor speechless. He’s not quite sure what Yuuri means about coming back. Maybe he wants Victor’s approval again — he’s not sure how much more he can take of this, to be honest. Victor is trying to be a good friend but every day his heart is breaking a little more. He really isn’t sure how’s he going to handle it when Yuuri finally scores a date with his dream man, but he’ll have to cross that bridge when he gets to it.

 

Now feeling pangs of sadness inside his chest, and a frown on his face, which is no way to prevent wrinkles, Victor trudges back inside. He definitely needs Sara to give him a manicure right away, followed by a night of movies and binging on ice cream to help lift his spirits — this calls for his emergency stash of Ryan Gosling flicks.

 

* * *

 

Victor is just finishing drying his nails under the UltiVarnish Blower 8000, Sara having painted them with “Enthralling Eros”, a sexy bright red with silver flecks, when the front door bursts open, startling the entire staff. Yuuri crashes through the door with his usual grace, carrying something large and wrapped in newspaper — specifically what looks to be the Sunday comics section — where on earth did he ever find a printed newspaper?

 

Yuuri runs right over to Victor and holds out the newspaper bundle, which up close Victor realizes is… a bunch of eggplants?

 

Victor tilts his head in confusion. “Yuuri? What’s this?”

 

Yuuri is flushed and breathing heavy, chest heaving as if he ran all the way here. His hands are trembling as he tries catching his breath, panting out his response. “Th-these are for you. I-I don’t have any flowers, just vegetables and fruit, but I know you like the color aubergine a lot, I mean you have that lipgloss and your nails, and well… these were the first things I saw that made me think of you. So, here you go.” Yuuri thrusts the large fruit cluster into Victor’s hands, his face turning brighter red than it was a moment before.

 

Victor stares at the eggplants, which are very long and more phallic looking than he’s used to seeing in the grocery store, but the purple hue is quite lovely.

 

“These reminded you of _me_?” He lifts an eyebrow and looks at Yuuri, unable to help the pleased smirk that twitches the corner of his lips at the blush across Yuuri’s cheeks.

 

“Uh… yeah?” Yuuri smiles nervously.

 

Based on Yuuri’s specialties in produce, it’s apparent he has a predilection for ones very long in length, and Victor can’t help but preen at the obvious compliment, giving Yuuri a bright, wide smile.

 

“Oh my god, Yuuri, you’re so sweet! I just hope that I match up to your expectations!”

 

Realization seems to hit Yuuri and he begins waving his hands in front of him. “No, no, no! That’s not what I meant! I just thought because you like purple and I just wanted to ask….” Yuuri stares at the ground, running a hand through his hair and looking as if he’s trying to psych himself up. He then looks back up at Victor with a determined look in his eyes.   

 

“Victor, will you go out with me?” Yuuri blurts out, making Victor almost drop the bouquet in surprise.

 

He recovers quickly, however, and hoists the increasingly heavy bundle of fruit in his arms and gives Yuuri a wide-eyed look, daring to hope that his ears haven’t betrayed him. “I’m sorry, what was that? G-go out with you?”

 

Yuuri’s smile falters, face falling and shoulders slumping. “N-nevermind. It was silly to ask. I knew it was a long-shot anyway. I’m sure you would never want to date someone like me, and now I just went and made everything awkward, so I’ll… I’ll just leave now.” The words spill from Yuuri’s lips in a rush and he turns to leave.

 

Victor panics, lunging forward and grabbing Yuuri’s arm. “No, Yuuri wait! Please don’t go!” Yuuri freezes, then slowly turns around, looking at Victor hesitantly. “I’m sorry, I was just confused. Are you really asking _me_ out? What… what about your crush? Did he say no? Because if he did, then he’s a complete tool.”

 

Yuuri looks at Victor as if he’s suddenly sprouted two more heads, then narrows his eyes. “Actually, I did ask him out… but he hasn’t given me an answer yet.” Yuuri’s lips then quirk up into a nervous smile. “So… will _you_ go out with me, Victor?”

 

Finally, it clicks and Victor’s mouth drops open in surprise. “Do you mean… am I… has it been me this whole time?”

 

Yuuri chuckles and nods. “ _Yes_. That’s why I was originally going to ask Chris for advice. But then you were so eager to help, and I figured that I might as well listen to your suggestions in hopes that what you were telling me were things that you’d enjoy yourself. But then everything just seemed to backfire.” Yuuri looks away, eyes downcast and he frowns.

 

“The serenading? That was meant for me? You weren’t just practicing and looking for approval?”

 

Yuuri shrugs. “I know it was awful. It made you run away.”

 

“Oh my god, Yuuri. It was so freaking hot I couldn’t handle it. I ran because I was both so incredibly turned on but also upset because I thought that it wasn’t meant for me!” Victor says incredulously. He can’t believe this is happening. “What about the sushi?”

 

Yuuri covers his face with his hands and groans. “You said to send something my crush would enjoy and you told me you liked Japanese food, so yeah. But then I nearly killed you!” He mumbles through his hands.

 

Victor gently pulls Yuuri’s hands from his face. “I already told you it was alright and just an accident. And as much as I do enjoy sushi… to be honest that wasn’t what I meant when I said I’d love to eat Japanese.” Victor punctuates this with a wink and Yuuri’s squeaks, his face flushing even redder.

 

“Wha… you? Wait, so does this mean?” Yuuri can’t seem to get the words out.

 

“It means that yes, I would love to go out with you, Yuuri! Nothing would make me happier!”

 

The way Yuuri’s face lights up is breathtaking. He practically starts jumping up and down, shaking their hands, which are still clasped together. “Really?! That’s great! Ok, how about dinner? Can you go tonight?”

 

Victor gets caught up in the excitement. “Yes, yes! Let’s go tonight!!” He then glances down at his outfit — skinny jeans, low v-neck purple t-shirt under a black fitted blazer, and sparkly pink ballet flats. “Oh, but I’m such a disaster compared to you! I should run home first and change!”

 

Yuuri pulls Victor close and presses their foreheads together, making Victor gasp. “No. I think you look gorgeous, so don’t change a thing. I’m going to treat you to the best restaurant in town, and I want to show you off!”

 

Victor squeals in delight. “Oh my god, do you mean White Castle?!”

 

“Of course, you deserve nothing but the best.”

 

“Oh, Yuuri, you’re spoiling me already!” Victor breathes, reaching up and cupping Yuuri’s face with his hand, bringing them together for a soft kiss, as he’s been dreaming of doing for years. Yuuri hums happily against his lips and Victor feels as if he’s floating on air.

 

After a moment just melting together, they reluctantly part. Yuuri steps back, smiling sweetly, and offers his arm. “So shall we go?”

 

Victor gladly accepts and Yuuri leads them towards the door, Victor turning to wave at everyone, feeling like he’s just been crowned homecoming queen and being escorted by his charming and handsome king. “Bye, everyone! Mila, could you please lock up and take care of Makkachin for me?”

 

They receive a round of applause and cheers as Yuuri leads them outside towards his car, giggling to himself as they walk. “I still can’t believe this is real,” he whispers.

 

Victor, equal parts elated that this is, in fact, real life versus disbelieving that his dreams have come to fruition, pulls Yuuri to a stop on the sidewalk, tugging them together for another kiss, winking cheekily as he pulls back to reply, “It’s hard for me to believe either, but I must’ve willed it to be. After all, I named my nail polish after you.”

 

A soft gasp slips between Yuuri’s lips, as a soft crinkle appears on his brow. “I... L... Y...,” he whispers slowly to himself… I thought it stood for ‘I Love You’?”

 

Victor’s cheeks heat up as he begins to feel a little self-conscious and ducks his head. “Actually, the Y stands for Yuuri.”

 

Yuuri’s mouth makes a cute little o-shape as the realization hits and Victor nervously waits for him to say something, for him to yell and be upset that Victor didn’t ask Yuuri for permission to use his name. However, instead of Yuuri getting mad, taking the eggplants back and stomping away, he only smiles shyly at Victor and pulls him closer against his side.

 

“Wow, Victor… thank you. I can’t believe you would name something so important to you after me like that.”

 

“Of course, who else could I name it after? You’re my biggest inspiration!”

 

A blush fills Yuuri’s cheeks and his voice dips down into a whisper as he shyly averts his eyes. “I guess that makes us even then.”

 

“What do you mean?” Viktor asks curiously.

 

Yuuri glances back and grins, biting his lip cutely as he does. “Well, I bred this specialty hybrid of eggplants and sort of… named them after you.”

 

“Really?” Viktor stares down at his beautiful bouquet of eggplants with whole new appreciation. He’s never been so honored in all his life. Not even being named one of Vogue’s Best Brands could compare. “What are they called?”

 

Yuuri blushes even more but stands tall and proud of his creation. “Russian Longs.”

 

And if Viktor swoons into Yuuri’s arms, right there and then, well really, who could blame him?

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thank you to my beta, AJWolf, for the gift of the name "Russian Longs". It was perfect and exactly what I needed! It is also thanks to AJ for inspiring the allergic reaction scenario, which is partially based on real events. Also a big thanks to both AJ and [ICanSeeClearlyNow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ICanSeeClearlyNow/pseuds/ICanSeeClearlyNow) for the beta and support!!
> 
>  
> 
> Victor’s [lipgloss](https://www.chanel.com/us/makeup/p/156764/rouge-coco-gloss-moisturizing-glossimer/)  
>  (shade 764 - Confusion)
> 
>  
> 
> [Vajazzling](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vajazzle)
> 
>  
> 
> [Kazoo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kazoo)
> 
>  
> 
> Yuuri’s crocs [here](https://www.crocs.com/p/classic-seasonal-graphic-clog/205706.html?cgid=men&cid=119#start=5)  
>  and [here](https://www.crocs.com/p/crocband-seasonal-graphic-clog/205579.html?cgid=men&cid=4IU#&origin=category&srule=&start=19&sz=36&prefn1=lifestyle&prefv1=Clogs&prefn2=variationSize&prefv2=&prefn3=refinementColor&prefv3=&prefn4=fitGuideFit&prefv4=&prefn5=refinementOccasion&prefv5=)
> 
>  
> 
> I envision the eggplant bouquet looking similar to [this](https://www.123rf.com/photo_94292438_bouquet-made-of-vegetables-original-unusual-edible-present-close-up-useful-gift-for-a-proper-lifesty.html), but made completely of long eggplants
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [White Castle](https://www.whitecastle.com/#homepage-hero) (a fast-food chain in the US, makes tiny burgers known as 'sliders')


End file.
